Photo: So grateful to have a handy husband, even if he has pack-rat tendencies!
As you can imagine, having to pack up my home of 23 years in just 45 days created a little tension in our lives. It is amazing how different people will react to this type of impending doom. I had managed to single-handedly purge most of the contents of our home to various charities and donation centers, but there was still a good bit of work to be done! Considering that I am a “Do-er” it is not surprising that I jumped right into the fire. I was a woman on a mission, a Tasmanian Devil, a Whirling Dervish—which, I just looked up the word “Dervish” –
1. An ascetic Muslim monk; a member of an order noted for devotional exercises involving bodily movements.
Interesting, and although I am definitely not a Muslim monk, I was devoted to getting out of my house in 45 days and I am sure, at one time or another, my head was whirling!
When we started to get down to the nitty, gritty and odds and end of the packing I found that I hit a stumbling block. And it wasn’t my stumbling block, it was my husband’s!
I love my husband, John. Anyone who knows him will tell you he is a great guy: hardworking, fun-loving, a fantastic father and husband. But he is, and I had never realized this before, a bit of a pack-rat.
2. Any of various small rodents of the genus Neotoma of North and Central America that collect in or around their nests a great variety of small objects.
Ok, I promise I will stop with the definitions, but I want to make sure I am being accurate with my descriptions. So, as I was saying, when I started getting down to all the “stuff” that still needed to be packed, it was clear that John’s side of the basement was going to be a challenge. You see, besides being a great provider for my girls and I, John is also very handy. In our 27 years of marriage I have really never taken his handiness for granted, (especially when I am working with my interior design clients whose husbands are not handy), but I had never realized that one of the reasons he was so handy and could manage to fix just about anything, was that he had a habit of keeping every screw, nut, bolt, snippet of wire, scrap of metal, and the ever-important “strange object that could be used for something, someday.” Although I had always appreciated John’s handiness in the past, this discovery was going to set me back big time!
“My stuff” was nearly almost all packed, which was a big deal, since my stuff included basically everything else in the house that wasn’t “his stuff”!
“His stuff” was still sitting on the shelves in the basement, AND the entire contents of our two-car garage. And Did I mention that at this point we were only 2 weeks away from C-day (closing day)!?
I am sure you can imagine the “conversations” (a polite term for a tension-filled, screaming match) John and I had when I caught him “resting his eyes” on the sofa one night—a problem I quickly solved by wrapping and packing the sofa cushions! And then I stopped myself; just because I was able to get into the “zone” of purging and packing doesn’t mean that it was going to be as easy for John. The fact that John can be a procrastinator, as well, did not make the task any easier. Here are my suggestions for making the daunting task of purging and packing a little easier to swallow for anyone of John’s mellow personality type.
1. Set time limits and realistic goals!
The “deer in the headlight” look on most procrastinators faces is due to the fact that the task ahead to just too much to bear. So when I sent John down to the basement or garage to start purging I suggested a 1-hour time limit. “Let’s just see what you can do in one hour.” I made sure to visit him with fluids and food rations. (A good chocolate high always make everything look better.)
2. Be Prepared!
Like any good soldier going to war, you have to be well-equipped! I gave John my “packing” equipment; a box filled with various sizes of Ziplock bags, Sharpies (these are the best as they write on anything, especially plastic bags) masking tape, packing tape, rubber bands, paper shopping bags (these were for recycling paper) and assorted boxes which were labeled: Keepers, Give to Friends, Good Donations, Trash, etc. Of course you will come up with your own categories, but half the task of sorting through things is figuring out where to put things while you contemplate the meaning of life, which generally comes within the first hour of purging when you have found some long lost treasure. I found having a box to put these things in made the job easier, and stopped me from wandering around the house in a zombie-like state while my brain tried to figure out where I should put something “special” like the “Over the Hill” mug I got for my 50th birthday. (Yes, I finally donated that one, gifts like that are just too good to keep! Pass it on!)
3. Bring a friend!
Otherwise known as an “objective observer” this person is the voice of reality! Someone to tell you to throw away that “strange object that could be used for something someday” or at least take it off your hands! One of the few moments of LOL I enjoyed those last few days of packing was watching John’s friends load up their cars at the end of the day with “stuff” from our house. (That reminds me I really owe their wives a quick thank you note, or apology, it all depends how you look at it!)
4. Wear a sweatshirt with pockets!
I am talking big over-sized pockets that can hold those things that you will either: A. need at a moment’s notice (like a Kleenex) or B. make you forget what you were doing in the first place like photographs, old birthday cards, pens, or loose change you found—basically to hold anything which will pull you from your focus.
5. No Seating Allowed!
This sounds cruel, but hey, it’s only for an hour! Chairs just enable you to sit and ponder, something you can’t afford to do while purging!
These things really helped John and I survive those last few days of packing. No, they did not “cure” him. Yes, he is still a pack-rat and procrastinator, but he lightened his load considerably. But we weren’t done yet!
